In Weepohlooteh, Nevada, a gang war broke out between the cities two most dangerous and criminal gangs, the Bastahdes and the Ayhohlles. Both gangs have been rivaling and working against each other for over a decade now, and the people of Weepohloteh were not surprised to see a gang war. The two gangs have always been notoriously violent, and have been known to commit many crimes. The sick Bastahdes were often found guilty for crimes such as furniture insurance fraud, mass murder of the homeless, and grand-theft taco. Meanwhile, those annoying Ayhohlles were often guilty of plagiarism, selling boot leg copies of foreign films, and producing Pimpery: The Musical. A gang war, though new to their lists of misdeeds, is nothing too unexpected from them.
The war broke out sometime around 4:23:47am. Imakeel Yuu, the leader of the Bastahdes, started the war under the influence of what he calls, “Magik Shroomz.” While coincidently passing by a warehouse well known to be occupied by the Ayhohlles, decided to launch an attack. He started his assualt by throwing his body against the hard stone wall of the warehouse, in an attempt to break the support beams and cause a cave-in. After a few minutes and possible head injuries of this pitiful attempt, he decided to adopt a new plan from one of his fellow gang members.
He entered the the warehouse via the unlocked doors which he had forgotten were there, and began firing his AK-47 wildly into the room. Within seconds, the Ayhohlles retaliated, pulling out their guns and firing back at him. By the time everyone in the fight was over the majority of people involved were dead. Fortunately, thousands of mice and rats were able to escape the facilities of the warehouse. Further investigation shows that the leader of the Ayhohlles, Baydebreeth Fattmawn, was running some sort of arena with the small rodents, causing many of them to perish in bloody death-matches. Because of his death, which may have been caused by both the fight and the fact that he had sniffed a large portion of his “Happy Dust,” all the mouse and rat gladiators were free. In the gang’s weakened state, police authorities were able to arrest the surviving Ayhohlles and the nasty Bastahdes that had started the war were able to become the unrivaled ruling gang of the city.
-R.E. Porter, Erazats News
